Are You Good Enough?
A couple of weeks ago I interviewed the amazing Kath Wynn-Jones, Chief Officer at Bury Local Care Organisation about her journey to TEDx. She has a difficult job at the best of times, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be right now in the midst of Covid 19.
Kath does a job many would struggle with and has vast responsibilities and influence over many lives. And yet in that interview – about her TEDx talk last December – she was open enough to admit that the one thing that might have put her off or prevented her from doing something so amazing as a TEDx was something that keeps many people up at night.
You see – Kath was questioning whether she was ‘good enough’.
Crazy isn’t it? Most people would look at Kath and be impressed. She has a high-powered job. She does it extremely well, with compassion and clarity. And yet she wondered if she was ‘good enough’ to do a TEDx talk.
It’s very common for many people (and possibly disproportionately more women) to have this self-defeating thought.
What is it about trying something new that brings out the little voices?
You see, it is easy to feel OK when doing your job, where you have qualifications, and years of experience. Even then people often under value what they can do, and over value what everyone else is doing.
But when you have the opportunity to do something different from the norm, that you don’t usually do – well that’s another story. That’s when the gremlins come out in force, with their little negative voices. “Who are you to….” “What will everyone think if….” “What happens if you mess it up…”
As women, most of us are brought up with this inherent need to be perfect before trying. If you can’t guarantee to do it perfectly – the you are “not good enough”.
What nonsense is that anyway? Where the heck did you pick that dis-information from. No-one is born knowing how to do ANYTHING except maybe cry, breathe and sleep.
As a baby did you get up and just start wandering around one day? Or did you fall over multiple times while learning how to walk? Did anyone laugh at you or ‘mark you down’ as stupid for not being able to walk on day one? Of course not.
The same applies to any skill.
Were you able to get in a car the first time and just drive it? Nope. Were you able to speak a foreign language the first time you heard it? Clearly not! And what about the first time you made a roast dinner – did you just make it up or follow a recipe. And was it perfect that first time? I’ll bet it wasn’t. But it might have been good enough.
And here’s the thing. Good enough is – ….well…. good enough! Things don’t have to BE perfect and in fact, nothing ever is. There is always something that could have been better. Every time I speak – afterwards I look at what I could have done better. There is always something. Do I beat myself up about it. Nope. I used to. But I don’t anymore.
And neither should Kath. Or you.
You are perfect in your imperfection. As am I. As is everyone.
At the end of the day – Kath’s talk on resilience (you can watch it here) went down a storm. Her video on YouTube exploded into thousands of views really quickly. It was MORE than good enough.
Did Kath think it was perfect? Probably not at the time. Did anyone else care? Definitely not. It was a fantastic talk, a fantastic experience and life changing for Kath. (watch the interview if you want to find out why).
If you need any help determining that you are good enough – give me a shout. In fact – I can save you some time – you definitely are. If you need some help with your story – either the one you want to talk about, or the internal one that might be holding you back. Email me on email@example.com or send me a message on Facebook.
In fact – I invite you to join my new Facebook group, “How To Speak With….” Where on a regular basis – I give feedback on members story / speaking videos. If you have a message you want to get out into the world – especially now – and you need some help with it – join the group and send in your video.