In the last blog we talked about what triggers people and how this can happen even when you know yourself very well.

Well, once you have been triggered it is really important to centre yourself, otherwise you can end up reacting, and not necessarily in a helpful way! But what IS centering?  It is a vital skill and here’s the thing many people go through most of their lives never being taught what it is and how to do it!

1) You can be uncentred without being triggered.

If you wake up feeling anxious about the day ahead, or you find yourself procrastinating during the day, or you reach the evening mentally exhausted and unable to think clearly, that’s a sign you need to centre yourself. When you are indulging in negative self-talk or addictive behaviours. And certainly, when anything happens that ‘triggers’ you, centering is essential to get you to a place where you are able to make a well thought out decision.

2) You have experienced being centered.

Whether you know is by this name or not.  It is a place where everything is calm, and you are in the moment, neither reacting to what has just happened or anxious about the future or how to handle something.  There is no resistance in this place, and you are neither happy nor sad, you just ARE.

3) Most people are off centre most of the time to be honest.

When we are out of centre we don’t trust ourselves, we trust ‘guru’s and ‘thought leaders’.  We believe the answer to how we are feeling (stressed and unfulfilled) is a better job, bigger house, children, the next holiday, a certain earnings level.  It’s when you rely on outside objects and people because you believe that these will make you feel better – wrong! (ask me how I know about that!)

4) Depending which practice you follow there are up to 4 centres. 

  • Aikido concentrated on the Physical Centre (about 2 inches below the naval) called the Gut. Whilst the brain has 100 billion neurons, the gut has 500 million nerve endings, and neuro scientists call it the ‘second brain’. It can work independently of the brain.  If you are the sensing type you can bring your centering to this area, to your bodily sensations.
  • Then there is the Emotional Centre, the heart. The heart has 40,000 neurons, much less than the brain, but it generates 100 times the electromagnetic field, according to the Heart Math org.  If you interpret your experiences through your emotions, you are a feeling type, then you should bring your attention to your heart.
  • The mental or Thinking Centre is the brain and most people are aware of this one. Bringing your attention to this area (where you interpret everything by thought) will quieten the mental chatter.
  • And finally, there is the Spiritual Centre which is where you interpret things using your intuition. It doesn’t have a set place and most often referred to as either being the third eye, or a space above the crown of the head.

There are lots of methods to Centre yourself, and a good place to start is with your breathing.  Breathing slowly and consciously while focusing on your physical, emotional, metal or spiritual centre is a good place to start. And this should be belly breaths and here’s something I want to share with you – I only found out how to breath in my belly at the age of 48 ….WTF???

Yes, when I was asleep my body took over and I breathed correctly but as an adult trying to be in control – when asked to breathe in, I would suck my stomach in and push it out when asked to breathe out.

Now be honest, do you do that too? (private message me if you don’t want to be seen like an idiot, I know how that feels).  It wasn’t until Marion Bevington (my Co-founder of The Find Your WHY Foundation) told me that breathing in is like filling a balloon (your belly gets bigger) and breathing out is like emptying the balloon, so this is when your belly gets drawn in, that I got it!  Have you ever been grateful for a ‘whys’ woman and a lightbulb moment?

So just like breathing, learning to be centered is easy when you know how and if you’d like to find out more about how to centre yourself and what might work best for you, email me on  for some more tips.

Oh, and look out for next weeks blog on communication, that’s communication done AFTER centring yourself not that done in the heat of the moment!  Lol.

Click here to read Why Connectivity Is King – And I Don’t Mean The Internet




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