What are your goals and expectations? You might remember being asked something like this for an essay at school, or maybe a job interview. I know I have!
Don’t worry, I’m not looking for an answer here. It can be difficult to define when someone puts you on the spot. It is often easier to say what you DON’T want than what you do want!
When it comes to goals, they’re generally viewed as a good thing. A way to motivate yourself, something to aspire to, a hope for the future. But here’s the thing. Are goals and expectations the same thing?
Negative Expectations
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘expectations VS reality’? The dress you order from a dodgy website online VS the dress that actually arrives. The cake pictured in the cookbook VS the cake coming out of your oven! The luxury hotel room in the brochure VS the one you just walked into. We’ve all been there before, there’s a reason why the phrase is so common.
But the thing is, it tends to paint ‘expectations’ in a bad light. It makes them look unrealistic, untrustworthy. And whilst that can be the case – it’s not always.
Planning for the Future
Expectations create plans. When we plan our Strictly Come Speaking events, we have some expectations. How many people should arrive, how many seats there are, what the budget should be and how much profit we might make. And sometimes, our expectations can be wrong.
And that’s ok – because you have to start somewhere, and you start with an intention. The intention leads to expectations and that gives you the ability to plan, what you want to happen, why you want it, how you’ll feel when it does happen. This can drive you, and push you to achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
When are Expectations Negative?
Expectations can be negative when you listen to that little unhelpful voice in your head that says – ‘The last time you tried that remember what happened – you failed’, or ‘ who do you think you are to….’
But remember, that expectations are not (yet) reality, and neither is your little voice. Although if you allow it to, it is very happy to create that reality for you.
The other time that expectations can be negative is if you are ‘expecting’ of other people. What do I mean by that? Well – one of the things in life that you cannot control – much as you might like to – is how other people will act or react.
If your expectations involve other people then they are always #SubjectToChange. You cannot predict how other people will behave, even when you think you can. People will always surprise you!
Take Control of Your Own Expectations
Does that mean you should avoid any sort of plans with people? No, of course not!
Collaboration should always be encouraged, and if you want people in your future, then by all means plan with the people you love. Just remember, only you can be in control of your own goals, and your own actions.
What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Cheryl xx
PS – If you liked this blog and want to read more blogs surrounding female empowerment, you can find last week’s here: ‘When Everything Goes…Wrong!‘
“I’m on a global mission to help 10 million disheartened souls, who are at a crossroads, to STOP asking why me? And START saying why not me!”