What did you get for Christmas? Did you get what you wanted? I am sure there are lots of horror / funny stories going around about what people did (or didn’t) get for Christmas. I remember when I was a kid my great aunt used to always send us slippers. It probably WAS what we needed but it sure wasn’t what we wanted!
And I do find it difficult to buy for some people – those are the people who never know what they want.
Maybe what you wanted for Christmas wasn’t gift related but a bit of peace and quiet, or a helping hand to entertain the hordes, or some time out in a spa with your friends?
Whatever it was, if you didn’t get it there are 2 probable reasons. 1. You didn’t tell people what you wanted. 2. You didn’t really know what you wanted yourself.
My friends Mother does both of these. So – when asked what she wants for Christmas or a birthday – she answers, “Oh I don’t need anything”. Not very helpful. But the reason is she hasn’t really thought about what SHE wants, because she is the kind of person who never does. She thinks about what everybody else wants, and making everyone else happy but she doesn’t ever think about what she really wants because she doesn’t know. And the reason she doesn’t know is because she doesn’t feel worthy.
She is a passive aggressive type of person and also has a victim mentality. So, she won’t say what she wants in case people think she is cheeky or getting above herself. But when she doesn’t get what she wants, she will then go into – nobody loves me, nobody values me – mode. Victim. Victim of herself.
And that’s a bit like her life. She doesn’t really get what she wants, but then she doesn’t really KNOW what she wants, so it’s no surprise is it? I mean, if you don’t know what you want then how would you spot the opportunity that could lead you there? How would you recognise when things were moving in the right direction. If you never ask, you may never get – because people / the universe – can’t respond to what they don’t know.
Is this ringing any bells? Do you know someone who doesn’t have a clue about what they really want in life (or for Christmas?). Perhaps you have a friend, parent, sibling or work colleague who feels a bit lost? Possibly, you sometimes feel that way yourself?
And what about when you DO know what you want – for example a thinner body, a new partner, a different house, more fulfilling life or maybe for you, it’s more income?
Well one thing you can’t rely on is willpower – I’m sitting in the hairdressers at the moment (excellent place to relax, be pampered and great for ‘people watching!’) so my hairdresser is saying “I’m starving… oh I’ve been so good … but I’m starving “… shall we take bets how long the willpower will last?
You see here’s the thing, you’ve got to turn what you want into pleasure and what you don’t want into pain. You can’t be in the place of having the 2 entwined – I want to be thin but I’m starving … it will confuse your mind … a bit like when someone asks what you want, and you don’t know … you’ll only end up with what you don’t want or nothing at all.
This is one of the classic story dilemmas you can create. So how to change this?
1) know what you want
2) make sure there is pleasure around it
3) cause pain around what you don’t want
4) get accountability/ someone to hold you accountable
For my own accountability – I use Marion Bevington (my fellow Find Your WHY Foundation creator) together we created a space for men & women to find what they want for their lives, with our A.I.M programme we help you to become
Aware of what you want
Set an Intention
and we created a membership…
If you want to know HOW – then click the link below and go find out! The link will take you to the details of our monthly membership – and wait – there is NO minimum commitment and it is only £9.99, so go find out how you can FIND YOUR WHY today – and stop relying on New Years Resolutions to see you through. They don’t usually work, but our group membership does.
As a member you get lots of online training, tools and techniques and access to a secret Facebook Group, where our members congregate and support each other.
And not only that – as a special thank you for joining us – we will send you a free copy of our book Find Your Why to help you make 2018 your best year yet. Remember to put AIM after your name when you complete the form to get the free book.
We created this space because believe you don’t have to figure it out on your own & you don’t have to do it alone!