How DO You Fall In Love With Facebook Lives?

So many people have said to me recently that they don’t like, or even “can’t” do Facebook Lives, that I thought I would do something different this week.  So, in my Facebook Group “How To Speak With…” I am doing a Facebook Live series on….well…Facebook Lives!

Yesterday we talked about why you might not like doing Lives.  All sorts of things stop us from sharing our messages with the world on a Live video.  “What if people don’t like me?  What if they think my talk is boring? What if I swear?  What if I talk too much and people switch off?  What if I don’t say enough and people don’t learn anything or think it’s interesting?”

All these thoughts, and many others, might have gone through your mind too.  And all of them come down to one thing.  The fear of judgement.  You don’t want to make a fool of yourself or be disapproved of.

And why is that sooooo important to nearly everybody in the world?

Well, it comes down to how humans used to work – in “the old days”.  Going back in time to cavemen, for example, if you fell out of favour with the group you were, basically, dead.  If you were rejected by your tribe and had to try and fend for yourself, you wouldn’t last long.

Throughout history, this has been the case.  If you did something which the group (village, tribe, community, society) didn’t approve of you would find yourself ostracised, or even killed.  Think of the witch trials of the late 17th century.

With this tribal history deep in our genetics, it is no wonder that we fear judgement – if judgement leads to really bad consequences.  The thing is today – it really doesn’t, does it? If someone disapproves of you, nobody dies.  Usually.

And of course, we fear judgement also, because we judge.  Be honest – have you ever said – or thought – “Wow, that guys nose is big!” when you WEREN’T watching Cyrano de Bergerac? Or “She is too old/young to be wearing that”, or other judgemental thoughts.  Of course, you have.  Everyone does.

And it is this propensity to judge others, that projects forward when we have to do any kind of public speaking.  Because of COURSE, everyone is judging you.

So – how can you change that fear?

Well, a simple technique I use with my clients is to just change the word ‘judgement’ to the word ‘opinion’.  I mean – everyone is entitled to their opinion, right?  The fear of someone’s opinion, well that doesn’t sound as scary as the fear of being judged does it (wig and gowns included).

You can also use a technique called Havening – to get your body in a state of delta waves, and reduced anxiety.  I would explain that to you – but it is going to be so much easier if you just go over to the Live and have a watch for yourself.   HERE.

Now, once you have prepared yourself in terms of your physical and mental state, you need to prepare other 3 things: –

  1. What is the topic you need to talk about and the reason you want to speak about that topic?
  2. Decide whether you want to Entertain, Educate them or Engage them – get them involved, get them to do an exercise.
  3. Technical Prep. This covers stuff like – is your phone charged? Ask me how I know about that one!  What’s the Wi-Fi or the 4G like?  Will you walk, stand or sit for the Live?  Where is the lighting in relation to you and the camera?  Is it good enough?  Will you use a filter?  Where is the quietest spot?

Don’t worry too much about any of these (except maybe – is your phone charged) as people have become a lot more forgiving of dogs barking, or doorbells ringing etc with COVID-19 and Lockdown!

Once you have all this prepped, the next thing is to create a process or structure for your AMAZING Facebook Live.  How do you put it all together?  Join me tomorrow at 12pm (or on catch up) in the How To Speak With … Facebook Group, where I will share with you the perfect process.

See you there (oh and if you are watching on replay please add #replay to the comments).






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