How to Get Untangled

It always happens, doesn’t it?  When you are in a rush whatever you are trying to do quickly – seems to know, and works against you.

The other week I was in a rush to get ready to drive down to London, and my necklace tangled up.  The more I tried to rush it for force it – the worse the knot got.  In the end, I just threw it in my overnight bag in disgust and set off.

Why Slowing Down Helps With Getting Untangled

Later, when I got to my hotel room and began to unpack my suitcase, I found the knotted necklace and sat down on the bed and carefully, slowly unpicked it – one little bit of the knot at a time.  It really didn’t take that long and wasn’t hard to do – which was the complete opposite of how I had felt about it earlier in the day.

And that made me think about how your state affects your feelings and beliefs about things. I don’t know if anyone has ever said to you, “Don’t make a decision when you’re tired!” or “Don’t try and resolve things when you are angry”.  There’s a reason for that.  You see, there is a state for everything, and some states are less relevant to some actions than others.

For example, when you are in that dreamy ‘just waking up’ state – it’s a great time to visualise and set your intention for the day, but it’s not the right state to make a speech to your team to get them fired up about hitting a deadline.

Equally, if you are in a state of high energy and excitement, that’s not the right state to be calming down a child who is having a hissy fit.

If you are in the right state for the activity you are about to attempt, it is much more likely to be successful.  It’s why artists might bounce up and down before they go on stage to perform – to get them in the right state.  It’s why people practice mindfulness or meditation before bed, to get them in the right state for sleep.  It’s why people might pace up and down and do some deep breathing before a difficult meeting.

State before Situation or Situation Before State?

This is a very important point.  You see, many people (not you of course), go through life reacting.  So something good happens and they feel happy, something bad happens and they feel sad or angry, something amazing happens and they feel excited. And of course, that is all perfectly normal.  But it’s kind of also the problem.

Because if you wait for your circumstances to change before you can change your state, then you are at the whim of happenstance.  What will be will be, and you are a victim of circumstance (good or bad!).

But here’s the thing.  You can change your state and THEN feel differently.  You are in control of it.

Test it out. 

Right now, sit how you would sit if you were feeling depressed.  How are you sitting?  Are you a bit slouched over?  A glum look on your face?  Your head resting on your hand, elbow on your desk, table, knee?  How do you feel now?  Energised, or a bit low on energy?

OK, let’s do another one.  Stand up – wherever you are (unless it’s in the smallest room, then please don’t stand up until you’ve wiped!).  Put your shoulders back and your head up.  Jiggle your fingers and bounce up and down on your feet a bit.  Breathe a little quicker and a little deeper. Blink rapidly for a few seconds.  Smile.  Widely.  Laugh out loud, if you can and no one is going to think you are crazy.

Now how do you feel?  A bit more energised?  A little lighter? 

Clearly, there is more to changing your state than just physically changing your stance if you are IN something. If you are IN depression, or grief, or resentment, or anger.  Just changing your state is not enough to permanently change how you feel.  But it will change it a little, right now, in the moment.

And that might be the 10 seconds you need, to step back from the problem.  To get a little untangled.  Rather than fighting, or pushing back, or trying to force something to happen.

And you know what – you don’t have to figure this all out alone. Being part of the whys women community (with women who have found their ‘why’), will give you all the support and tools you need to a happier and more fulfilling life, and allow you to know with clarity what your higher purpose is and how to live it fully. And definitely to help you get untangled.

Find out more about becoming part of our community here.







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