Do you remember playing party games as a kid? There are many of them that taught us that being in competition and being the winner is best, perhaps this has led you to feeling like a loser when you’ve come 2nd, 3rd or last! When you get into the habit of competing, would you agree that you may start to believe that it’s the only way?
So imagine if you could approach life with a collaborative mind-set, one that means everyone wins and there are no losers.
What if you were part of a community where everyone else helped you to achieve what you wanted rather than competing for something just for the sake of it, just because it’s a habit?
Well I believe it’s these habits and beliefs that hold you back, beliefs in scarcity, separation and being scared…
In The Live Love Laugh Lounge™ home of a group of women we fondly refer to as WHY’s women (a community that we, Marion Bevington & Cheryl Chapman created to help other women, like you to Find Your WHY! to become frickin’ awesome) we recently asked the community about what held them back from living a full and happy life.
The answer was SAD… No not Seasonal Affective Disorder! So you might be thinking, what do you mean by SAD?
Well the S.A.D. truth is all of the answers to what holds you back can be associated to 3 basic fears:
Substandard – “I’m not worthy / unlovable”
Abandoned – “I’m isolated / alone”
Danger – “I’m not safe”
These are the basic fears from which ALL fears flourish.
Well here’s the news, these fears are out dated, put another way these are just old apps, old programs, handed down for generations and are in dire need of an update! And the benefit of de-programming obsolete, out-of-date and dysfunctional beliefs is it will turbo charge your mind set for happiness, abundance and success.
Society is full of victims, victims of media programming – this programming tells you that you are broken, not good enough and that you need to be fixed. It is so intense and fast paced that it’s difficult to keep up. Think about the recent political situation – in or out? The reasons for staying … scare mongering, the reasons for leaving …scare mongering, maybe it would have been better to just “shake it all about”
I believe for co-operation to work, there needs to be a way to find a higher perspective, a way to elevate the consciousness of the species. I know it sounds difficult to understand never mind to achieve; the beginning of it all is to start by looking within.
How it all began!
Do you remember playing at children’s parties?
Do you remember what fun it was to be carefree? Sharing the fun, the love and playfulness in a room full of happiness, full of glee…
And the music is playing and there’s dancing and happiness and freedom to play and have fun…
And the adults decide it’s best to keep us all busy, so they share their games, the ones they learned as kids, passed down to them. So we play games like pass the parcel, musical statues, musical chairs…
Do you remember these games?
So what was it about musical chairs that made it so exciting? It’s the idea of being the winner It’s the idea of being the fastest Or if you weren’t the fastest or most agile, and if you weren’t the luckiest and not close enough to the seat of the chair when the music stopped – you could simply be the strongest and push the little kids off the chair!
Willing to win at any cost?
Think about it… all it did was promote the idea of being the strongest, the best, being different and here’s the important and sad truth …being separate…
You were put you in a competitive position were you were learning you MUST compete to get ahead.
So lets investigate that thought and is that actually true?
Well in our house it was not true – there was an abundance of chairs – more than enough for everyone!
What was the outcome of taking away at chair away at the end of every round?
Well, it trained you to think there’s not enough chairs and the outcome…
Now you begin watching more closely and watching the chair, devising your strategy to get that chair and you’re not even dancing properly any more! Now it’s not fun, now it’s serious business…
Remember the thought process “I’m gonna push that kid (who only a moment before was my lovely best friend) off the chair coz I need the chair…”
And this kept on going and they kept taking the chairs away and we kept on fighting over the chairs and then there is only one that’s left…
And it’s supposed to be a game?
The truth is that what we learned was that…. It’s all about lack and it’s what we were taught as 5 year olds!
There is a certain way we need to be, to be able to survive on this planet – you need to compete to look after number 1 if you want to win, and this is where the fear of losing starts.
Musical chairs can set us up to become cut-throat, competitive and self-centered. Another sad truth! A world like that is one were we are alone, lonely and it’s a really scary place… But what if that’s not the only way, what if it’s not true?
Think about the nurturing experiences you’ve had when you were surrounded by love, maybe with your parents, relatives, friends or as you grew a relationship with a “loved one”. You are free to explore this wonderful world, be creative, play without being concern you must get it right, be creative and express yourself as you are and not how you think you ought to be. Would it be fair to say that you felt accepted as yourself, connection, part of a community, safe and at ease, were you felt compassion, consideration where you felt loved?
Can you see that?
Because when those around you have lots of self-esteem, self confidence and compassion; they’re giving and receiving love, their confidence increases, I feel the love and acceptance I desire, I feel a connection that feeds my heart – my soul – that brings me deep joy and fulfilled satisfaction… isn’t that the kind of world you want to live in?
Would you agree it’s one where you feel safe, welcome and happy, where you feel joy on a regular basis, one where you are allowed to feel all of your feelings, express them whenever they arrive, without any fear of losing out?
Cheryl & myself have co-created The Live Love Laugh Lounge™ as a space for like minded women to experience such a place. Here we share with our WHY’s women (Women who know their WHY!) community some deep and meaningful Lessons of Life that they can access on line, in “The Knicker-Drawer” (I mean that’s where you keep your valuables too, right?). We take you and your life to a much more profound level of fulfilment, with custom designed step-by-step video classes and an accompanying workbook. With content that has been organised into easy-to-digest topics for you, enabling you to continue your journey into awesomeness!our 100 years plus of life experiences, we’ve found that there are just 3 areas that you need to know in order to Find Your WHY!
• Awareness – Here you can explore how and why beliefs and negative thoughts get embedded in our subconscious programming from an early age. With any personal development or change, awareness is the first step. Through – The Live Love Laugh Lessons Online™, you will be able to shine a bright light of awareness on the root of the problem that potentially holds you back.
• Intention – Set the intention to actively and consciously choose your beliefs, your thoughts, your actions and your behaviour. Create real and lasting change in your life. Discover the keys to Find Your WHY! Creating the kind of life your truly want, filled with purpose, a deeper connection to yourself and to others, and live your life in alignment with your highest values. Embrace the AUTHENTIC YOU!
• Manifest – Learn powerful and yet simple tools tips and techniques to take your self and your life to the next level. The Live Love Laugh Lessons Online™ provide you with teachings to help facilitate how to raise your own consciousness and sustain it. Discover how a few simple tweaks to your process can turbo charge your results in creating the life your truly desire.
Collaborate or Compete ?
I believe, the drive to compete actually keeps you locked in to a system that feeds on itself. Jealousy, envy, constant comparing and measuring leads us constantly and continuously to the feeling of ‘I’m not enough’. Does that make sense?
So here’s the thing; when you discover a better way, a way that not only accepts but honours your unique gifts and allows you to collaborate, create, and have more fun… all while accessing greater happiness, abundance and prosperity in your life.
As the saying goes no man is an island, well that’s the same for a woman, right?
Together we can do so much more… faster, stronger, and with a greater sense of connection, meaning and fulfilment.
However, not everyone in the world will lift you up or inspire you to be your best self, the competitive mindset is part of the world we have to navigate our way through. That’s why we want to help as many women (and men) as we can to find your WHY! In The Live Love Laugh Lounge™ the WHY’s women members are a community of like-minded women (we also have the Man-Cave for WHYs men) so:
“You don’t have to figure it out on your own and
You don’t have to do it alone!”
Learning how to thrive in a supportive community and how to build clear boundaries that support your growth and help you navigate this world safely while having fun is a huge part of what we offer in The Live Love Laugh Lounge™
Everyone has a unique path to follow. Your path and my path are not the same. Discover how to get clear on what YOUR unique path is, and how you can step out of the fear mode, open up to possibility and access your true sense of purpose.
Step into your own authentic life where you’re smiling more often than you’re not, you’re happy more often than you’re sad, you can’t wait to get up in the morning, and you’re surrounded by people and influences that fill your heart with gratitude.
Claim your true power and create a life that you love living every day… you have something unique and amazing to offer to the world. Everyone does. Discover how to dig down, deep inside yourself, and find your unique mission and purpose, Find Your WHY! To Become Frickin’ Awesome
Remember its YOUR WHY? Not anyone else’s… What is the true life of happiness YOU really want to create? What does it look like? How can you get clarity on that? The Live Love Laugh Lessons Online™ will help you find the answers.
Simply complete the form below to get a FREE copy of my book Find your WHY! To become frickin’ awesome (we just ask for a small contribution towards shipping and handling …keeps the packing department in employment – that;s Cheryl’s mum and dad)