Last week I interviewed Kirk ‘Abs’ Miller a former footballer who played for Coventry for a while. As you know my role in life is to get people to change their stories, share their story, and inspire others. Well Kirk has a great story and talking of stories, Kirks favourite stories as a child were Superman, He Man and the Teenage Ninja Turtles where there was at least one hero who saves everyone at the end of the day (incidentally, all with abs #justsaying).
“What was your favourite story as a child” is one of the questions I always ask when interviewing people on my show on Radio Works World. I ask this for a few reasons but one of the reasons is that very often you can get big clues as to someone’s values and the person they have become, from their childhood favourite stories.
Kirk was passionate about football from the age of 3 or 4, and all kinds of competitive sports and was fortunate as a teenager to play for Coventry. It looked like his future was secured. Until one day, aged 19 when he was in a big office, sitting opposite Gary McAllister – who was everything Kirk aspired to be, Kirk was told he wasn’t good enough and wasn’t being offered another contract.
He had done OK at school but without his football future he felt lost, he knew that was him done with football but didn’t know what came next. So, he became a plumber – like you do! And almost by accident got into fitness and was entered in a competition for Men’s Health magazine (by a friend who completed his application form – someone who believed in him). After a false start (where he missed responding to an email) he actually won. And that moment changed his life.
He realised that fitness was actually what he loved and should be doing. Within a year he had quit his job and started his fitness business. He now has 43,400 followers on Instagram (kirk_abs_miller) and is doing what he loves – helping people – saving the day!
When you look back at his childhood heroes / favourites stories – it comes as no surprise that he has become a leader in his field, and spends his time helping people and being the hero he admired as a child. He even has an immovable quiff like Mr Incredible!
One of the big lessons Kirk learned and wanted to emphasise in the interview was, don’t waste time complaining. He feels he wasted 5 years being unhappy, and wishes he had changed things sooner than he did. He now tries to “save others” and help them to become fit and healthy, whilst living a normal life, meaning you can stick to chicken & broccoli if you choose to or you can still be fit and “have a life”.
Kirk is one of the most genuine guys I’ve met and his desire to help others is as important as it was for any of his Heroes. The question is was that in his DNA or was he influenced as a kid?
I believe it’s both:
I spent from the age of 5 to 48 “being careful” – which was great advice for a 5 years old being left with a key to let herself in from school, but not something I really needed to carry with me for 43 years. 43 years of being careful, of not stepping up, of refusing promotions. I spent my ‘career years’ subconsciously searching for something (hence moving job every couple of years) but not listening to my subconscious and CONSCIOUSLY refusing every opportunity which might have taken me out of my comfort zone, anything which showed up as ‘not being careful’.
I won’t say I wasted those years – because nothing is ever really wasted. I learned a lot. I learned how to adapt to new situations (a move every 2 years will do that to you). I learned how to listen to others and hear the story beneath what they were actually saying. It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry – I just wish I’d started sewing a bit earlier! Because at some point – whether it is after 5 years or 55 years – you come to a point where you reach a crossroads.
You’ve been there right? And you can either skirt around it for a bit, or you can go back into your comfort zone, or you can move forwards. Of course, moving forwards is scary, and it’s not necessarily easy, but it is much easier to do with support and when your gut/your intuition tells you you’re on the right path (that I believe is the DNA bit).
Once I moved myself into a peer group of people who were not afraid of taking risks, who were enjoying this change thing, who believed in themselves and each other to do great things, then life changed for me.
And it can change for you too.
Maybe it’s time for you to take a little time out and reflect on where you are now and why you are right here, and what is needed to move forward. If so, take a look at our next retreat here.
If you can’t make the date but feel it is time to start to change your life – click HERE and book in with me so we can have a chat and see what it is you need to move you forwards.
PS – if you want to watch the interview with Kirk – go here.