Vulnerability is one of those things. You’re either okay with it or you’re not. Maybe it’s the word itself. When you think of the word ‘vulnerable’, do you automatically think ‘damsel in distress’ or ‘loser’ or ‘weak’? You wouldn’t be alone. But being vulnerable can actually be a great thing.
A Change of Wording
What if you changed the word ‘vulnerable’ to ‘friendly’? Would you still be thinking ‘loser’? I doubt it. Saying someone is vulnerable, automatically gives you negative connotations of them. But WHY?
Synonyms for ‘vulnerable’ include; helpless, weak, exposed, at-risk and susceptible. But is that negative – surely that’s just part of the human condition. Even if we might like to think we are Superwoman, the truth is – no-one is invincible all the time.
So, does vulnerability make you more approachable?
Now I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be an approachable person than have people avoid me because they’re intimidated – which, to be fair, has happened in the past.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean sitting in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night scared and cold, it can be doing something as simple as expressing your emotions. Telling someone a personal anecdote to help them feel less alone about something they may be going through. Even just saying ‘I’m not okay’ occasionally. Expressing your emotions may be seen as ‘vulnerable’, where actually it shows strength.
And, if that’s what it takes to be more approachable, then I’m all for it.
Is being vulnerable a good thing or a bad thing?
Many times a negative association (with allowing yourself to be vulnerable), is created by something that has happened – generally in childhood. Isn’t everything?
Maybe you were told to stop crying, or not to get upset about something which upset you. Perhaps you were told not to be a baby when you spoke about someone being mean to you. Possibly another kid at school made fun of you about your hair/spots/braces/name and they did it BECAUSE they knew it upset you. Children can be so cruel.
And so, you learned that people can be cruel and malicious if you show your true emotions. And so you learn to hide them from other people, and maybe you get so good at it that you eventually learn how to hide the emotions from yourself.
All of that is pretty common, and totally understandable. And you are always going to find those people – not just in childhood. People who abuse your trust and use your ‘vulnerability’ against you. However, not allowing your vulnerability to show, or even be acknowledged by yourself, creates a massive stress in the body. Because it is not natural to suppress your emotions all the time. And the answer to the issue of who to trust is not a simple one, depending as it does on each individual circumstance.
That’s what this is all about.
The best solution is two fold. First, find a community. Surround yourself with like minded people who will celebrate and support you. There is such a community – it’s called the WHYs Women.
Secondly and maybe the most important thing in life, is knowing who YOU are. And that’s actually my purpose. I’m here to help you Find Your WHY. And Find your PURPOSE.
And that’s why I created the Find Your WHY Foundation (along with my bestie Marion), and spent a lot of time and money researching the best ways to help other women to Find Their WHY. We are pretty good at it too! If you haven’t yet found your WHY, then I invite you to take the first step and fill in a very short questionnaire which we will use to create your very own Genetic Blueprint report.
This will tell you with absolute clarity – who you are as a person and what you are here on earth to do. And it’s free. If you want to find out more click here. It might just change your life!
Speak soon,
Cheryl xx
PS – The genetic blueprint really helps with understanding who you are and what you are here to do – fill in this 2-minute questionnaire and I will send you your own ‘genetic blueprint’ which will help you understand yourself so you can begin to Find Your WHY! You will find it here
PPS – If the link doesn’t work for any reason (sometimes technology has a bad day) then email me on cheryl@cheryl-chapman.com and I will sort it out for you!
PPPS – If you liked this blog and want to read more blogs surrounding female empowerment, you can find last week’s here: ‘Mind The Gap Please!’
“I’m on a global mission to help 10 million disheartened souls, who are at a crossroads, to STOP asking why me? And START saying why not me!”