I missed you last week. I was so ill last week. I couldn’t get out of bed. And boy did I felt guilty – I mean my tribe was there and I was not able to be there! I think it’s because I have a fixed will – I just can’t contemplate not doing something I have committed to. I believe that could be the first time I have missed the 8am live call that I do in the Live Love Laugh Lounge….well….ever!
But sometimes you just need to get over yourself and listen to your body.
As a result of staying in bed for a few days and generally taking it easy – I had a lot of thinking time. And as I have mentioned before, being a public speaker and public speaking coach is what I am known for, but it is not the end result but merely one string in the bow so to speak.
Speaking is the vehicle for me to help others to bring their light into the world. But, actually, I have come to realise that I am a Life Purpose Mentor. After all, not everyone needs to or wants to “do public speaking” but everyone needs to find their life purpose, unless they have already found it of course. In which case – public speaking is the best way to get that purpose out into the world.
Some themes came up in this week’s call with “The Lounge”. One of those was guilt.
We carry a lot of guilt around don’t we? Sometimes we don’t even realise how much. But it is pretty pointless, guilt. There is no point feeling guilty about things that happened – whether it was this morning or many years ago. If you have done something you feel guilty about, then that is your conscience’s way of stopping you and giving you time to think.
Do you need to feel guilty?
Often, we feel guilty because we are trying and failing to live someone else’s version of who we ‘should’ be. In this case – there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty. You are you. You are not someone else’s version of you. Someone else thinks you should be slimmer, so you try to diet, and then feel guilty when you eat chocolate. Well, get over it. Do YOU, and you never need to feel guilty about that.
Maybe you feel guilty because you said or did something that upset someone. Well, apologise, and then move on. Carrying the guilt around doesn’t help the person you upset. Only apologising and making it up to them will.
Or you feel guilty that you didn’t do something and now it’s too late. You didn’t tell your loved one how much you loved them the last time you saw them. Trust me – they knew. And if they were still here, they would not want you walking around regretting that.
What Good Does Guilt Do?
Guilt is a bit like worry. It temporarily modifies your behaviour – so that you have time to reflect. But like worry – you can either do something about it or you can’t. if you CAN then do it, and give yourself permission to be human, and then move on. And if you can’t do anything about it then for goodness sake – LET IT GO!
Who do you serve by holding onto guilt and worry? Literally no one. And especially not yourself. How can you live a life of purpose if you walk around hanging onto guilt, shame and worry?
This week I would like you to give yourself the gift of – giving yourself a break! Treat yourself with kindness, as you would someone you loved (yes it IS ok to love yourself. In fact, it is the only way to live fully).
Let go of any lingering guilt about the past. Know that you are enough, and you did your best at the time and in the circumstances. And you are human. Human beings are imperfectly perfect. Cut yourself a break.