Your life changes at many points. Starting a new relationship, a new job, moving into a new household. Or maybe leaving a relationship, job or household. Some changes in life are inevitable – for instance, you might be leaving a job because the company has gone out of business. Some changes are by choice.
Changes can also create a chain effect. If you change households, for example, you might have to change jobs as well if you’re moving too far away.
But some changes are entirely in YOUR control. You’re creating these changes constantly, sometimes without even realising. Going to a restaurant you’ve visited before, only to order something new. Or bringing the iron out one morning, because that shirt you were planning to wear looks a little creased.
The second your mind leaves ‘autopilot’ (such as your everyday morning routine), differences are being made.
Small changes like these are fairly easy to make, right? But what about major ones?
Making a big change in your life can be scary, I’m sure you’d agree. It pushes you into unknown territory, and you know how frightening the unknown can be! However, even if you DO feel afraid, there is a part of you deep down that’s begging for something to change.
How can you identify that?
Tune into your awareness.
Check in with yourself, ask where you are right now, how you’ve ended up here, and how it’s making you feel. What sort of emotions come to mind?
If you’re not sure where the “begging for change” is coming from, think about all the different aspects of your life. Your relationships, your environment, profession, physiology, mental health, hobbies, what might be in your future. Rate each of these out of ten.
Once you’re clear with where you are now and how you’re feeling, things should be clearer. Do you constantly feel stressed, hopeless, or just generally drained? And are these emotions appearing often?
Now think about the last time you remember being very happy. If it feels rare, or you can’t even remember, then it’s a sign that something needs to be done!
Many believe that happiness is more of a ‘lucky’ emotion, or something that you don’t really need. I believe happiness is a choice. Of course bad things happen and you can’t be happy all the time, but generally happiness is a state of mind and you can choose your state of mind.
Observe your behaviour.
How well do you know yourself? Sometimes, when life gets draining, when you are over busy and over whelmed, you might not even recognise yourself in there.
For example, you feel a little bitter and resentful towards the people around you, believing that everything is out to get you. In other words, you could be playing the role of a victim.
Or maybe you’ve become the opposite. You’re a people pleaser, and you’re constantly making excuses for everyone around you.
Take work, for example. Instead of telling your boss that you’re too busy, or need a break, you think – ‘I may be being taken advantage of, but at least it pays the bills!’ It doesn’t matter whether you’re telling others or yourself, making excuses for others is only going to decrease your self-worth.
What happens once you’ve accepted that changes need to be made?
Once you’ve put your foot down and said ‘ENOUGH!’, you might know what needs to be different.
Your relationship has you constantly asking questions, you absolutely DREAD going into work, or there’s that one family member/frenemy that needs to be cut off. Whilst it’s not easy to achieve the solution, the answer is clear, right?
What if it’s not clear – what if you don’t know what needs to change?
Maybe you’re struggling to identify what it is in particular that you want to work on. A good starting point is to go back to your awareness. Think about the aspects of your life again, and then focus on the one with the lowest score.
The solution might be more of a greyscale than a clear answer. What I advise is to think about what you want. Think about what you want to do, who you want to be, what you want to see in your future.
From here, you can identify what in particular you want to work on, and start planning out how to reach that goal.
Now all this is much easier said than done, and you might be feeling a little overwhelmed! But here’s the thing – you don’t have to do all of this alone, and I guarantee that there are others who are feeling the same way as you!
Every goal can be shared!
Things can be more achievable through teamwork – multiple heads are better than one.
That’s why we hold our Strictly Come Speaking events, so that women can flourish and grow together, and work on their speaking skills as a group!
We help women overcome their fears of public speaking, and grow the confidence they need in order to make changes and share their stories.
The good news is that there are still tickets available for our next event, so it’s not too late for you to come and join us! Tickets are FREE, so if you’d like to be part of a positive community and gain support, click here!
Remember – it’s never too late to change.
PS – The genetic blueprint really helps with understanding who you are and what you are here to do – fill in this 2-minute questionnaire and I will send you your own ‘genetic blueprint’ which will help you understand yourself so you can begin to find your why! You will find it here.
PPS – If the link doesn’t work for any reason (sometimes technology has a bad day) then email me on email@example.com and I will sort it out for you!
PPS – If you liked this blog and want to read more blogs surrounding female empowerment, you can find last week’s here: ‘It’s Time to Step Up!‘
“I’m on a global mission to help 10 million disheartened souls, who are at a crossroads, to STOP asking why me? And START saying why not me!”