Have you noticed how in life – it often seems like you are giving more than you are getting? I see and hear this conversation all the time.

“I do everything around here, no-one else does anything, and it’s not fair” or

“I do more and more at work, I don’t get paid any overtime and it’s not fair”

Well, there are 2 things you need to be aware of here – and both are very important to understand.

What are you ordering from the Universe?

You might already know this but when you focus on stuff, you get more of it. So when you say things like – I do everything around here, and you focus on how unfair that is – the universe hears that you think it’s important. It doesn’t hear that you don’t want it! And so you get more and more to do.

You see, painful as it might be to hear or accept, where you are now is the sum total of your beliefs and your self talk. Whether you believe the universe responds or not, you certainly respond to your inner talk.

But it’s not your fault if you are ordering the wrong stuff into your life.

Incredibly – according to studies – the average toddler hears “No” 400 times a day. And by the time they are 17 they have heard the words ‘you can’t’ or ‘No’ around 150,000 times. And the words “you can” around 5,000.

Is it any wonder that you have limiting beliefs – along with pretty much everyone else. The thing is – you can look at other people’s limiting beliefs and see them for what they are. But your own? Not so much. In your mind, your beliefs are the truth.

So – here is the mind boggling revelation.

Your beliefs are JUST THAT. Beliefs.

Whether they are true or not is up to you. Don’t believe me? That’s your choice. But trust me – you get to choose your beliefs. If someone does something that puts you out – a household chore or a task at work – which ends up creating more work for you, you can choose your belief.

You can choose to believe they did it because they are inconsiderate, don’t care about you, don’t like you or are just a nasty person. Or you can choose to believe they had a lot on their mind, or genuinely forgot, or would certainly not have done it to inconvenience you. Either or both could be true. But that doesn’t matter.

What matters is you and how you feel. If you choose to believe the former – that will make you feel upset, angry, frustrated. If you choose to believe the latter, you will feel compassion, understanding, tolerance. Which STATE would you rather be in?

You see, choosing to believe the negative and wishing the other person would be better (or wishing them harm) is a bit like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. The ONLY person negative emotions hurt are the person who HAS them – ie you.

Your beliefs are your beliefs, not the truth.

You will have picked up beliefs in childhood from all the stuff you heard around you. All those ‘no’s and “you cant’s”, are likely to have embedded some beliefs around what you are capable of. Even just ONE negative comment can become a belief. If you were ever told as a child that you were naughty, fat, stupid, thick – you can carry those limiting beliefs around for a long time.

Or you can trust me, and accept that you can choose your beliefs and choose some new ones.

Now – is it that simple?

Yes and no. Those beliefs have been around for a long time. And they are embedded in your subconscious – which is infinitely more powerful than your conscious – which controls about 2% of your decisions.

If you have ever failed a New Years’ resolution – it will be because your subconscious beliefs and habits won over your conscious willpower. If you want to be slim and choose losing weight as a New Year resolution, for example, you may lose a few pounds if you have a good dollop of willpower.

But unless you reprogram your brain to support your new beliefs, then it won’t last long and you will hear yourself saying stuff like – “told you – I CAN’T lose weight and keep it off”.
It is possible to reprogram your brain – and I have various tactics and strategies for that – contact me if you would like to know more.

For now though – just become aware of your self talk, and what you are talking into existence and know that your brain doesn’t hear the filler words. What I mean by that is – if you tell a child not to spill their drink, they have to THINK about spilling their drink in order to work how NOT to spill it. The brain doesn’t hear – don’t spill your drink. It hears what you focus on – ‘spilling your drink’.

Paying It Forward

Going back to the, ‘I’m doing more than everyone else around here, and it’s not fair’ thing. I need you to understand something. The law of reciprocity does not always relate to the specific situation.

I will explain that in a minute – but first – if you are feeling negative and speaking negative thoughts, it is probably covering over a victim mentality, which itself is based on a lack of self-worth. If you have a lack of self-worth then why would anyone else think you are worthy? You cannot expect to get respect if you don’t give yourself any.

That being said – if you stop seeing things in a negative light and you value yourself, you STILL might be doing more at home than your partner, or at work than your colleagues (although it will improve without a doubt). It still might not be equal.

But nature hates a vacuum.

What you get back in life might come from a different source, but it will come. If you work hard at a specific work place and you don’t get your ‘just desserts’ it will come back through a new job offer, or a promotion to a different team

It’s called paying it forward.

And in light of that – here’s something I’d like to tell you about. A friend of mine Dan Todd is running a webinar this Sunday night – 6pm GMT

It’s all about how you can fill your events and webinars cost-effectively using Facebook Ads DESPITE the iOS changes!

Please register here

Hope it helps 💖