You might know that I was nominated as a finalist for the EVAs training and coaching category earlier this year – and if not then you do now!! Bad news though – I didn’t win the award in the end.

Sometimes you get a gut feeling, and this time mine was telling me it wasn’t going to be me.

So, when I didn’t win, I wasn’t too surprised, nor was I particularly upset. Would I have liked to win? Absolutely. It would’ve looked great on all my profiles, and as an Architect, I love receiving recognition for my hard work.

But I wasn’t unhappy with the results, when announced. Some people looked over at me, to sympathise with what they thought would be my disappointment, but there was none.

What’s Wrong with Losing?

Winning isn’t everything, and I’m sure that just like me you’ve been taught that from a young age. Naturally people celebrate those winning moments.

And when you work hard towards something, you feel as though you deserve the win.

Let’s look for a moment at what winning usually entails. You might receive a physical award – a trophy or plaque – and then you start sharing your success with the world. It might boost your brand, your visibility or even your enquiries. And then what?

I didn’t work hard the past couple of years to win an award, I did it for myself, to change my life, and to help change other people’s lives.

The people who won deserved to win, and if it was all about winning then I shouldn’t celebrate being a nominee! But even if I had won, no one in that room would’ve actually seen or experienced what I have done over the past 10 years for my career.

Is the Goal To Win?

So, when it comes to losing, I don’t see it as a negative. Like they say, ‘failure is a learning curve’, and that’s all losing is. You can’t always do anything more to win. That doesn’t mean the world is against you, it just means that it’s not your time or place.

Instead, you should be focusing on how far you’ve come. The goal is to do everything you do to the best of your ability, and if you have done that then you are a winner in my book.

My goal has always been to make a difference to other people’s lives, and help them find their WHY. And receiving a nomination means I must be doing something right! And that’s definitely worth celebrating!

Even if I hadn’t been nominated, the people I’ve worked with who are living different lives now, some that I still keep in touch with, are what it is all about and that’s enough to remind me of my success. An award is lovely of course, but it isn’t necessary for me to know I have done a great job.

Celebrate Every Win

Celebration is good, and you don’t need to rely on other people’s awards, instead reward yourself! Remember all of your wins, and how hard you’ve worked and make time to celebrate. People are very good at focusing on what went badly, and of course, you need to learn from those experiences.

It is equally and potentially even more important to focus on, and celebrate the wins. The things that go well.

At our next Strictly Come Speaking event (the final one of this year!) we will be celebrating powerful, confident women, as well as empowering more to speak out and find their voice. You can join in on this free event and meet inspirational speakers, and share all your wins together!

Reserve your spot by clicking here.

Cheryl xx

P. S  – If you liked this blog and want to read more blogs surrounding female empowerment, you can find last week’s here: ‘What You Can Learn From Public Speaking

“I’m on a global mission to help 10 million disheartened souls, who are at a crossroads, to STOP asking why me? And START saying why not me!”

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