You Don’t Always Get What You Want

I don’t know if you can relate to this situation.  My other half’s Mum has recently had to go into respite care.  She has said all her life that she did NOT want to go into a home.  But having visited her at the weekend – she isn’t hating it!

In fact, she is almost in her element – people buzzing around her, people to chat to, not on her own.

Sometimes in life we think we know what we want.  But life changes.  Things change.

You see, she was struggling with being on her own.  She has dementia, which is only going to get worse, but the MAIN thing she was struggling with was being alone.  Community is so important, isn’t it?

You see – as the song goes – you don’t always get what you want, but in most cases, you DO end up getting what you need.

That was really highlighted last Sunday at our FindYourWHY Live event, where we celebrated the WHYs Women of the year, and listened to many interesting speakers sharing their journeys with the community.

Many of those stories were emotional, and they were all inspiring and important for both the audience and the speaker.  From an audience perspective, it is always interesting to hear about other people’s journeys.  You can get a real sense of connection and belonging from hearing how others have overcome the challenges you also might be facing.

But in some ways, it is maybe even more important for the speaker.

Let me explain that.  I believe we are all here for a purpose.  And when you have found that purpose you can achieve magic.  But how magic would it be if no-one knew?

How Get What You Want and Swim the Channel

So, one of our speakers had swum the English Channel – the lovely Nikki Pop (pictured on this blog).  She told the story of how that dream was formed in childhood, when an aunt was telling her what she couldnt do, and how she nearly died on her first cold water swim.  And of course, how she finally achieved her dream, and now has other bigger dreams.  (Bigger than swimming the channel?  Amazing!).

Now – would she have felt great if she swam the Channel and no-one knew?  Yes – I am sure she would.  But would it have had any impact on the world?  Indirectly almost certainly.  Her own behaviour and belief would cause her to take actions that would impact others for sure.

But the biggest impact for her now, is being able to share her story, in communities like the Live Love Laugh Lounge.  The speaking on stage, gives her the opportunity to impact many other lives. And so whilst listening to that story was very imapctful for the audience, it was at least as impactful for Nikki.  She can see how sharing her story is important.  She can see how it moves other people emotionally – and into action!

Which brings me back to my mother-in-law.  Whilst she thought she wanted to ‘never go into a home’, the need for community, for sharing, for contact with like minded people was stronger.  Human beings were not designed to be on their own. Parthenogenesis is not possible for us (producing embryo’s without fertilization).  I know – big wword – I had to look it up!  The point being, we are not evolved to live our whole life on our own or work it all out alone.

It is crucial that you have a community you can share with – triumphs and failures alike.  Life’s celebrations are so much sweeter when they are shared.  And lifes sadnesses can be less devastating when you realise you are not the only one.  Because you don’t have to do it on your own and you don’t have to work it out alone either.  So if you would like to be part of a community of like-minded women – we have a community – the Live Love Laugh Lounge, where the WHY’s women hang out.


If you prefer watching to reading – check out the Youtube Channel here

And if you would like to be part of our WHY’s women community – click here for details of how to join.


Share This

Share this post with your peers.